How?

I often get asked, "How are you going to handle a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a baby?". Or I get asked, "How in the world are you able to be 8 months pregnant, have a toddler and preschooler?". I usually don't have an answer.

I was thinking today about these questions I get lately. I still don't have a very good answer or really an answer at all. My parents often say that I am "calm during chaos". I think what they mean is that I don't really mind that my house is always loud...I mean always. There is usually at least one boy running around, the volume in our house is unreal to most outsiders. We try to get the basic chores done everyday, but there is always something dirty somewhere. I don't stress out about much with the kids (unless it is their health, then I'm a mess!).

For example, last Thursday Finn was having nose bleeds. He never gets nose bleeds, so I was concerned. Around 4:00 p.m. he got a nose bleed that wouldn't stop..at all! I tried everything and it kept coming. I called Mark and we decided to take him to the ER around 5:00. His nose was still bleeding everywhere when we got there. The doctor determined he had a blood vessel too close to the surface and when his skin cracked a little (from being so dry outside), the blood started coming and it doesn't stop unless you seal the vessel.

So after about an hour of Finn screaming because they had to get the blood to stop enough so that the doctor could chemically cauterize his nose with silver nitrate which essentially "burns the skin" so it is painful to kids. After about another 20 minutes of screaming from the procedure, he somewhat calmed down. Then we had to wait for an hour to make sure the bleeding stopped otherwise the hospital was going to call a specialist to come and use electrocautery and put him to sleep to do it. The bleeding did stop and we didn't end up leaving till about 8:00 or 8:30, with a very upset Finn.

I, of course, was stressed during this whole thing. I don't handle well the sight of my kids in pain. I'm not calm at all. We had to watch Finn for 48 hours to make sure the bleeding didn't come back, which it didn't. Mark was not at all stressed and very calm during the whole evening at the hospital and calm for the days after with Finn. He is a "calm during stress" person.

I'm convinced that is why we are perfect for each other. I can handle just about anything on a day to day basis. Mark can handle just about any actual stressful situation with the boys with ease. Neither one of us is very good at what the other does well. So how am I going to handle three kids? Well, I'll continue to stay calm and enjoy the daily chaos. And I'll stay married to my husband who can easily handle all the other stuff that isn't daily chaos:)